October 28th 2010 - WinterRose is 6 months old

WinterRose is 6 months old today. Half a year.

When I think back on the time that we have had together I am elated by how far we have come. I started out feeling like I didn't love my baby. I hated breastfeeding and I found myself in a depression the depths of which I have never seen. I called upon my friends, asking them how they felt in those first few weeks as a mama of two. I felt so lost and felt like I would never be happy again.


Truth be told, breastfeeding is what saved me. My mom didn't understand why I went through the struggle. Breastfeeding was the one thing tying me to this child that I didn't know or understand. I felt like without it, I could get a can of formula, a bottle and pass her off to anyone and never ask for her back. Anyone could change her diaper or rock her or take her for a walk. Breastfeeding is the one thing that only I could do for her. I needed a lot of support to get through it, but we made it!

Now, everyday I look at my daughter in awe and wonder. When I am away from her and feel my body fill up for her, I can't wait to get back to her. Not just to feed her and relieve engorgement, but for the connection. The little mmm mmm mmm noises that she makes. The way she kneads at me like a kitten.

At six months, Winnie is sitting up on her own and working on her pincer grasp. She's no where near sleeping through the night. She takes two to three naps a day and spends a lot of time in the Beco. She adores her big brother and loves getting tummy tickles.

I love this little girl. Though our beginning was a struggle it got us to where we are today and makes me appreciate the love I have for her even more.